Hard Truths To Carry Into 2021

A personal & blunt take on how loneliness is a function of our self-worth, relationships expire & the depth of our lives is a choice.

I’ve been contemplating on whether I should publish this piece for a while now since it is rather personal to a certain extent, but I figured that there’s no harm in sharing if it can help someone else who may be struggling with the same things as I. Life isn’t always sunshines and rainbows anyway.

My friends never fail to remind me how much of an inspiration I am to them, but they fail to realize that I am only human as well. I live, laugh, love, and lose just as much as they.

So for what it’s worth, here are some of the hard realizations I’ve had in 2020.

#1. Our loneliness is a function of our self-worth. Don’t pin it to work.

Tinder, Bumble, Hinge — I’ve tried them, and ditched them.

For the past 2 years, I’ve attributed loneliness to being single. I blamed my vulnerabilities, traumas, disappointments and mistakes.

What I have come to realize is that it wasn’t because I’ve been single — but because I’ve pinned my self-worth to my work. Entrepreneurship is a lonely journey — going on dates was me trying to fix my problem with a wrong solution.

I’m not sure how many founders or entrepreneurs feel this way, but my emotions have been in direct correlation with the performance of my startup.

Context switching and loneliness aren’t exactly new concepts (I write about it here), yet as much as I am aware of them, I experience and feel them just as strongly. When my company (Gulliver) does well, launches successfully, receives incredible feedback, the joy is truly unparalleled. However, the lows during the journey hit you just as hard.

Yes, I’ve had a team — or multiple people working with me throughout the course of the past two years as we have pivoted and iterated the product. However, none of them were here to stick around — there were always either better opportunities elsewhere, or a misalignment of life goals. While these people remain good friends and I’m genuinely happy for…